Sep 26, 2012 11:20am PDT
haired guy who's not steve doocy. >> the calls to bring back regular n.f.l. refs sure to heat up after last night's game. if you're watching this show you probably didn't watch this game. would they complete this pass? the refs say so. the packers scored if the interception really in my mind. >> stephen: also in ms. mind, pancakes. (laughter) folks, people are pissed! including the packers guard t.j. lang tweeted "got (bleep)ed by the refs. embarrassing. thanks n.f.l. ". (cheers and applause) and believe me, the packers know embarrassing. (laughter) this call upset even union-busting governor and packer fan scott walker who tweeted "after catching a few hours of sleep, the packers game is still just as painful" adding the hashtag "return the real refs." now, i can see why he wants the union refs back. i mean, crushing the teachers union is fine, but he might have had money on that game! well, sorry, governor walker, but the n.f.l.'s numbers are against you because t.v. ratings are at record highs. sunday night's ratings were up 8% over a year ago which means the free market has spoken!
Oct 2, 2012 11:30pm PDT
. (laughter) folks, today is the biggest day in the history of publishing. since steve guttenberg invented the bible. (laughter) because today is the official publishing date of my new book "america again: rebecoming the greatness we never weren't." (cheers and applause) i wrote it! what! whoo! wait, wait, wait! stop, stop, stop! jimmy, jimmy, what's with the balloons? i thought we agreed we were going to drop books. (laughter) >> they would have killed you, stephen, they're too heavy. >> stephen: well, obviously we would fill them with helium! duh! (laughter) anyway, america again sets forth bold action steps that average americans can take to reclaim our country's greatness. action step number one: buy my book. (laughter) now, for my younger viewers out there, a book is something we used to have before the internet. it's sort of a blog for people with attention spans. (laughter) it makes a great gift for the holidays, folks: christmas, chanukah, black chanukah. so you've got your holiday shopping done. this is perfect for grandmas, mothers, sons, men not of woman born, lovers, enemies, t